Since today is Cinco de Mayo I figured I would write a little something about how holidays such as this one give people an excuse to drink. Today is much like St. Patrick’s Day, Halloween, Memorial Day, Fourth of July, Labor Day and Earth Day. Well, maybe not Earth Day, but you get my point. Still, people use holidays as excuses to get fucked up.
For example, on Halloween, everyone dresses up as something they are not and gets shitfaced somewhere. That’s just the way it is. Girls wear the sluttiest clothes because they think just because it’s Halloween they can get away with it, and guys drink until they can’t see straight. If you think it’s fun just pretending to be something you’re not, wait until you get hammered doing it. You’d be shocked with what you wake up next to.
As for St. Patrick’s Day, the slogan is “Everyone is Irish on St. Patrick’s Day”. Listen, I’m one hundred percent Italian, my hair doesn’t magically turn red, and my skin doesn’t turn pale just because I decide to get shitfaced on St. Patrick’s Day. Also, if I did drink as much as an Irish person on St. Patrick’s Day, I would be dead; that is a fact. Irish people can drink, we all know that, and I do not look good in a green hat either, which is also why I cannot be Irish on St. Patrick's Day.
Now for today; Cinco de Mayo, the day that everyone pretends they have some form of Hispanic decent in them. Today is probably the only day that being an illegal alien is the cool thing to do. Everyone drinks Corona’s, everyone does shots of tequila and eighty percent of people wear a sombrero. It’s cool to celebrate, but just because you’re celebrating doesn’t mean you’re tolerance to tequila has gone up overnight. For some reason this is a girl’s favorite holiday for puking. Please know your limits, especially if you have no Hispanic blood in you.
As for the other holidays, well, they’re just there to be there. Fourth of July is a summertime favorite for everyone to get shithoused, when people who believe in socialism tell everyone how much they love America. What a day that is. Anyway, happy Cinco de Mayo; be smart, know your limits, and have a good time. And a final word of advice: Don’t eat the worm.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GmgHJCzJ_bI
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