The Inaugural Pro Athlete Arrest Week Is Off To A Exhilerating Start

Ladies and gentlemen the inaugural edition of Pro Athlete Arrest Week is off to an extremely unanticipated fast start. Jason Kidd kicked off the opening ceremonies early on Sunday morning when he got carried out of the club he was in and then followed that up by driving his car into a pole. Needless to say, that DUI started the week off right for Pro Athletes everywhere.

"Everyone was a little hesitant at the start, so I figured I needed to make a big time play and kick the week off right," said Kidd. And that he did by blowing a very impressive .34 on his breathalizer, which for those of you scoring at home is more than four times the legal limit.

A day after Kidd lead the way at the opening ceremonies, Denver Broncos defensive end Elvis Dumervil was charged with aggrevated assault with a deadly weapon after he got out of his car and showed a gun to some guy who cut him and his friend off. "It's an exciting week and I'm really happy to be a part of it," said Dumervil after his arrest, "I'm just trying to set an example out there for those teenagers with aspirations." We'll what an example he set, showing that road rage and ammunition are definitely the way to go.

And then today the already exciting week continued with Seattle Seahawks runningback Marshawn Lynch getting a DUI of his own out in Oakland. "I was in Beast Mode my dude, what else can I really say? I was just trying to follow up two good opening acts," said a clearly intoxicated Lynch slurring his words, "Someone had to be the guy to do it, and I'm a gamer so I decided it had to be me." At least no one can say that Mr. Lynch is not a team player, right?

Now the question is, who's next? Which pro athlete will keep our already exciting week going strong? I don't know, but I'm looking forward to it. Pro Athlete Arrest Week 2012, it is turning into a tradition unlike any other.